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I’ve been really having the worst phase of my life and I’m pretty sure that this isn’t the worst, just yet. I don’t know. I just think that I’m not really good enough for anything. I’m starting to have thoughts if I’m doing things right, if my existence does have an effect in this world.

Or maybe people around me are just so good. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t have any talent. I don’t know what I’m good at, I don’t know. Whenever I do something that I think I like, I feel that I’m really achieving so much and that I’m doing a great job. But don’t you just hate it when the universe decides to hit your head so hard that you’ll realize that whatever you’re thinking about yourself— is 99% untrue?

I wanted to shift because I knew that designing wasn’t for me. I tried to push myself more, to let myself know more about what my course is all about and what I’m gonna be doing for the rest of my life. I don’t really see myself doing these things in the future. I hate how I fought for something that’s actually not what I really wanted. And it hurts me so much that I’m only starting to realize stuff like these, when it’s already too late.

And to actually write something about how sad and frustrating my life is— without having a closure for myself or at least something that I could say to myself that it’s going to be okay or it will always be okay shows how frustrated I really am right now. It just hurts me when everyone just thinks you’re never good enough, no matter how hard you try and/or even if you think you’ve done so much.

Posted: September 16, 2014
Currently With 10 notes

Calling out all those girls and pa-gurls to read this post because this one’s all for you! <3

Are you tired of buying those expensive P1,000++ clothes per piece and still don’t feel contented about it? Or are you the type of person that loves to buy in tiangges, ukay ukays, or any thrift shop? Well guess what? This is what you have been waiting for!

I have never thought of such a brilliant idea to actually make a ‘buffet’ for clothes— well this one is time pressured so you gotta get all those beautiful pieces before time runs out. Well, here’s the catch: (refer to the poster made by yours truly!)

So what else are you waiting for? Go book your slot now because slots are limited only! Check their website: http://clothesbuffetmanila.com/ for booking informations and for the other rules! And also don’t forget to tell your friends to join you too! Of course, it’ll be much better to enjoy the clothes buffet with your friends! <3

x

Posted: September 07, 2014
Currently With 2 notes

My life lately pt. 3

I’ve been really really trying to fix my shit together because no matter how I try to organize my priorities or my life in general— I see myself as someone who doesn’t even know how everything works/goes.

I am addicted to this thing called love— and you know, when everything’s okay between me and Pao, I find everything else okay as well. Kahit pa na may problema sa acads or work stuff, parang balewala kasi ok lang kami ni Pao. But what I hate about myself is that whenever nagkakalabuan kami, nadadamay lahat. At mali yun. Pero whatever. I’m not really going to talk about my lovelife’s problem here no. Hahaha.

I’m just really bothered about myself. Lalo na ngayong college. Kung kailan ako tumanda, saka ako naging takot or naging isip bata. I was so different when I was in high school, lalo na nung sa Beda. I loved taking risks. I love challenges. I never felt so down with what I think I am good at. Ngayong college ko pa naramdaman yung feeling na— hindi sapat lahat ng ginagawa mo, kahit alam mo namang ginawa mo naman na talaga lahat.

Medyo hugot ba? Pero hindi naman. Sobrang naapektuhan lang ako ngayon emotionally siguro. Parang ang daming dapat gawin, tapos hindi ako makapag-keep up with the things that I also have to prioritize. A few days ago, I wanted to shift to another course. Ngayon nagsisisi ako kasi pinaglaban ko yung course na hindi ko naman pala nagugustuhan. Nagsisisi ako kasi kung hindi ko pala to gusto, bakit hindi ako nagshift noong 1st o 2nd year habang maaga pa? Ayoko na rin naman piliting magshift ngayon, kasi ayoko na rin masayang yung mga pera na nagastos. Medyo pointless na rin.

Mahirap din kapag hindi mo kaya magpakatotoo sa harap ng mga tao. Hay nako. Sa totoo lang, sobrang nakakastress ang mga tao sa paligid ko (sa school hehe). Iba talaga wavelength ng utak ko sa utak nila eh. Sobrang dedicated at competitive sila, magis nga eh diba. Sobrang ok naman pero medyo selfish. Dedicated para sa mga sarili lang, competitive kasi dapat sila yung the best. Parang malungkot lang. Kasi dun talaga nagrerevolve yung mundo nila. Sa pag excel. Oo, ganun kasi akong klaseng tao. Hindi kasi sobrang importante sakin kung ako yung pinakamagaling o pinakamatalino sa klase. Aanhin ko naman yun kung bobo rin ako paglabas ng classroom? (Extra lang na pet peeve to: medyo naiinis na ako sa mga ka-carpool ko na makajudge sa mga taong nagcocommute, pwede ba sobrang sheltered niyo. sinong walang buhay ngayon?? ugh) Anyway, medyo pa-rant lang talaga tong post na to. Sobra na kasi eh. Daming cheverloo ng life. Infairness naman at nagpost ako ng medyo bulgar ang feelings ngayon. Wala lang talaga akong makausap eh, wala rin makakaintindi. :-)

#1 and #2: Paolo’s 20th birthday! We ate lunch with his family and also with Gianne (Ken’s gf!) Super fun kapag kasama yung family ni Pao kasi sobra sila magasaran and kwentuhan <3 Also, si ate Regie got back from China kaya sobrang fun talaga :)

#3: I met up with Carina in UP Town tapos nag Trinoma kami afterwards. Wala lang, nag lunch kami and ikot ikot. I had to meet up with someone right after kasi. Nung pauwi na ako, iniisip ko kung magtataxi ako pabalik ng Ateneo o magmrt + lrt nalang, medyo deliks kasi mrt ngayon— pero nag mrt nalang ako infairness naman walang nangyari sa akin. Haha!

#4: Selfie lang pag may time.

#5: My thunder buddy :-)

#6: Selfie ulit pag may time ulit.

#7: View from Patricia’s condo unit in Berkeley!

#8: Medyo sinipag magprint ng cover for Team 360. Haha!

#9: Starbucks, Trinoma :)

Posted: September 06, 2014
Currently With 15 notes

Dreams do come true

(Photos by Project JDG)

Posted: September 02, 2014
Currently With 14 notes

Had lunch at Kenny Rogers Taft with my boy right after watching UAAP badminton in Rizal Memorial Stadium and then we headed to Araneta to watch the ADMU-DLSU basketball game.

Unfortunately, we lost. But it’s okay. Haha. Babawi po tayo! (unreated side lololol)

Posted: August 18, 2014
Currently With 11 notes
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